Modern Dating: PTBS

PTBS = Post Traumatic Breakup Stress

Can we ever really go back to having a f**k buddy when we’ve had such passionate sex with someone we truly loved? Men tend to not care about their sex partner the way women do, some men are different and appreciate connection, some just are happy to fuck as many women as they can. This is where the modern women gets lost.

I just came home from a pandemic date, pand-date, still thinking of the right word, which is what I’m calling dating during this time period as a lockdown has made it impossible to meet for a drink or go to a movie, there is no simple how to guide. For women, we get told don’t go on a hike for a first date or back to his place, that’s how you get murdered. But truly without those options I will remain single and die alone. Because I have chosen not to let the pandemic ruin my life I have to keep going on dates even when the pandepression sets in. Which yes, we all know what pandepression is, it’s different for everyone but everyone is feeling like they lost something or someone. Men are no different, after talking to like 20 of them on Bumble, I learned something, their just as lonely as we are and some just are using sex as a timewaster until this thing ends. I hate that Bumble has this statistic online that says most people on Bumble are looking for relationships, that’s just not true. Once you add them on Snapchat or text message it becomes a whole new ball game.

My first pandemic date ended the exact way it probably should. I knew the first time I dated or attempted anything after FML would be a complete disaster, I have no idea how to be single anymore and being a single women in a pandemic is insanely hard sometimes. I missed having FML to go grocery shopping with, even wearing masks he always made me laugh.

So, my first pandemic date and I met for coffee, drove around for half an hour talking and getting to know each other, he took me back to his place. I left my car parked in the mall, we walked up the stairs through the cement building through some steel doors, through a huge parking lot, through the cement stairs and that is when I started to get worried, I was going to get murdered (like any sane women would.) I was surprised he wasn’t walking with me he stayed a foot a head being kind of odd, like could he not tell I was about to run away in pure panic. I honestly started to have so much anxiety I thought I might pass out. My friend Courtney’s voice rang in my head though “Don’t be a baby, just go.” So, I was off to go have a one-night stand, in pure hopes in might be worth it. It wasn’t. I didn’t have sex with the guy. He made me feel pressured and I wanted to have fun, again the difference in men and women’s thoughts about sex right there. He wants to do something bad and I want to have fun. I’m a Cyndi Lauper song, “Girls just want to have fun.”

Written by: Justine Fraser


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