Modern Dating: Building Blocks

Modern Dating: Article #10

05/18/21


So, I was out for drinks with my sister, Chelsea and a few friends when the discussion of dating came up, online to be more specific. Chelsea’s old roommate Lily told us a story of a mutual friend and how she has been talking to a man online for over a year now — without ever meeting him. All I could say in response was the typical, “She knows she’s being catfished right?” I couldn’t fathom how you could chat with someone online or through video messages for over a year without ever meeting? What if you see him for the first time and he looks totally different, maybe he was hiding it? I’ve noticed that I’m one of those people that if I like you, I’m going to want to see you in person because I know I’m attractive and that my personality is better that way. I get bored of the texting game online dating has created and yes, I am only two and half months into it.

I would never advise any of my friends or any females to pursue a relationship this way. The guys I’m seeing now (two – Ryan and Cameron) have built a solid relationship with me because we saw each other. Granted I would have waited longer to meet Ryan, had he not called me one Saturday, we spent 3 hours talking and 3 hours texting before that. So that in my books was our first date, as I really hadn’t meant to spend the whole night talking to him. I met him the next Friday and he was way better looking than his pictures. He was so much more confident and engaging than I thought he’d be, needless to say we made out pretty quick. So why wait? IMO, to build a relationship you need solid blocks to stand on first. You need to make mistakes and see how the other reacts, you need to also have chemistry or why bother would be my other opinion. Solid chemistry that comes from the first sight is rare, which is why I’m not really trying to let Ryan go anytime soon but we’ve only been seeing other for two weeks, so I do need to slow it down.

And then there’s Cameron, who I really wasn’t sure about at first. We met on Bumble, he’s cute, strong arms, long brown hair, 5-month-old Bernese mountain dog that my dog would like. Sometimes I’m still not sure if I’m looking for a boyfriend or a friend for my dog. Cameron and I chatted on Bumble for about a month before I gave him my snapchat, and then he quickly asked me on a date for a walk in the park with the pups. It was cute, a little awkward like any first date, he didn’t exactly look like his photos to me but I was still attracted to him. And than fast forward to a week later when I met him for our second date. I was unsure about him, I didn’t even exactly dress up, not to the extent I did for Ryan, I’m pretty sure I wore the same underwear I had worked out in earlier. And than to my surprise a completely different Cameron stood in front of me, my nerves shot through my stomach and all I could think was “No! No! Idiot!” I quickly checked the mirror upon parking my car (might I add horribly, he was watching and my nerves went crazy so I parked like an orangutan would) I regretted not putting foundation on. He had his shoulder length hair slicked back, sexy man beard, tight grey shirt with arms trying to break free. I was mad at myself for not taking this second date seriously, this guy was pretty hot. This is the other problem with online dating, don’t wait too long to meet that person because you really just don’t know them until you’ve spent time together. Cameron and I didn’t need a month of talking online before we saw each other, the chemistry on the second date was very much there. And I don’t think he or I remembered much of what we talked about over that month because we also had been talking to other people. But I remember everything since that, he’s turned out to be a really good guy, even calls the next day after we had sex too early.

“To build a relationship, you need solid blocks to stand on first.”

Jus

Justine Fraser
@jusreadingbooks
@justinefrasers

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