The time had come for comebacks. All my friends had been boosting me up, waiting for mine, shooting back into the stars or landing on the moon seemed to be their plan. I love how much they believe in me, never leaving my side no matter how hopeless I seem, I guess that’s true love or just damn good friends.
The truth is I felt weak, out of my own body in ways, wandering around lost and scared of what the future might look like since losing my job as a journalist. Only days before that I had felt incredibly strong, independent and like a women who could do anything. Something the world needs a little more of these days.
So of course this is the time in my life when FML, my ex who I used to be in love with and haven’t spoken to in almost two years decides to come back.
One drunk Saturday night I came home from the bar, pulled my phone out of my purse, saw a text message from FML sitting on my screen, put the phone down and took three steps back – knowing a bomb had just gone off.
Then I spent the next 12 hours deciding whether or not to message him back. He told me he was proud of me for everything I was able to accomplish since we broke up, which felt amazing.
I messaged him back saying “thank you,” wanting to keep talking to him, it felt so good to be able to talk to him. And then we did, we just kept talking, asking each other how we were, what we had been up to. For days and days he just kept messaging me back. Then he asked if he could come see me, the new place and our dog we raised together.
We spent the next weekend together. It was easier then people would expect, he just feels like home. FML leaned down to hug me as soon as we saw each other. He was excited to be around me, he held my hand down the street out of the restaurant and blocked me from walking in front of a car after I had drunken too much. We went out on cute dates and cuddled all weekend. My bed stayed messy, unable to get any rest. He was still the man I remembered, which made it hard to not fall into old patterns. I had to keep reminding myself that we technically were not together.
After the weekend ended, he went back home and I tried to come back to reality.
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